HeyMelani! : school

Sunday, 22 September 2019

Much Needed Time Off

Ciao people! I know, first of all I want to start by apologizing for disappearing for such a long time. It was never my intention to be so not consistent into updating the blog page that I started ages ago with such a passion for it.
I won't lie, I did go through a very hard time once I started university some year ago and that had repercussions on the rest of my life till last year, when I finally reach out for help.

If you are new to my page I would like to introduce myself once again. Hi! My name is Melani and I was born and raised in Italy even though both of my parents are from the beautiful Sri Lanka, ranked top county for travel in 2019 by Lonely Planet magazine!! 😁

Since I was a kid I always had this sense of wanting to get to know things. To explore and get to know everything that was around me, never just to ignore and go on. I've always been a curious girl with the passion of books and the outside world, curious of technology that during my childhood was having an actual boom; what was new one day, right the next one was old news.
Some times even too mature for her age.
A determined girl willing to show how powerful and capable she was, maybe because being born in a country where everyone is visibly different from you, we were often not very looked upon. For that reason I was never able to stepped on someone. My nature is more of a listener and a silent fighter for what I want to achieve and show!
I always believed into having a good education, on studying and working hard in school thanks especially to my Mom. I always did great and the hard work always payed off. But on my last year of high school I was so tired that I though of having a gap year before starting university. Unfortunately, for many reasons that I don't want to explain now, I didn't get the chance and went straight into university after passing the exam for Biomedical Engineering. I always wanted to be a doctor (ahah very asian of me 😂) but after not passing the exam, I tried for my other big passion, engineering and as I said before I passed into a course that I thought was the perfect balance between my two big loves: medicine and computer science engineering. At the same time during that year I discovered how I loved photography and writing. That's the time I started this blog probably pushed by the need of freeing my mind on such a stressful time of my life...and that was is! I was actually very happy at the time but life hits you and it hit me quite hard.

My first year of uni went by so quickly. Officially adulting far from home and far from my parent for the first time, I was not happy with my choices.
But I didn't know how to tell someone. I was disappointed of myself for thinking such things and almost ashamed for wanting to change uni course after working so hard to get into it and always being such a clever kid.

That's the biggest mistake that us humans do! We are too hard on us and that's not good at all. We are not perfect machines, so we are allowed to make mistakes! It's totally normal. At 18/19 years all we might have is an idea of what we want to be growing up or what we want to do in life. But it doesn't mean that if that target doesn't go as planed then you are done forever. You MUST keep calm and reach out for help if you feel like you lost yourself, because you are just 18/19 and till that age you were always helped somehow from your parents. So put aside your ego and get help because our parents will do anything, they always did till at that age. If you can't reach out for your parents then ask help from a friend, a counselor, a teacher...a adult!!

It took me quite a while before I understood that. So last year I was helped from my parents once I put aside my fear of telling them on how I was feeling and what was going on with me. I left Biomedical Engineering and tried another test for Computer Science Engineering and I did pass for it!! So now I'm on my second year ☺️

It's not easy at all to start all over again. Trust me, it's not at all so if you are in a same situation as mine don't give up but keep pushing it, because hard work is always paid off at the end!
Just remember to be sincere to yourself. If you feel something, listen to it and don't be scared to talk with anyone. We didn't come on this world alone, so we are not alone once we are here 💐

Let's look after each other. Mental health is important. I am important, you are important, we all are important! If I did it, you all can do it too.

Much love from a very happy Melani. Thank you to all of those who have helped me to get back on track and work on being always the better version of myself!
LOVE YOU MAMMA AND PAPA' and thank you all for sticking around even when I was absent. Stay tune for my journey...the journey of life!

Cheers for this blog and the future blog post I'm already working on!
CIAOOO!